Update on Womentoring and Novel Progress

Since the launch of Womentoring on Tuesday, I’ve received an application – thank you! I will leave applications open for the next few days and then when that’s done I will start getting in contact. Thanks to everyone who has applied or is thinking of applying!

Edits continue apace and we continue to tame the monster. So I am all in the middle of battles and drama and high sentiment. Also this week I got sent the draft cover for the novel. It is very stylish and I’m excited to see the first images. Well done to all involved. Another step closer to a book - it’s so exciting :)

I’ve also made another tweak to my wordpress site. I took the top of the Kitchener poster I had in the last layout, chopped it in two and used it as my header and landing page image. The Kitchener poster with its caption “Be certain that your so-called reason [for not enlisting] is not a selfish excuse” is one of a medley of WWI propaganda posters I saw in the Imperial War Museum in 2011 and took photographs of. When you see them one after the other, in a dizzying reel, you begin to feel a bit harried and cornered. It’s a classic example of using shaming to get the objective you want – in Kitchener’s case, that was a million and a half men on the battlefield.


Womentoring Project Launch Blog Splash!

I have the pleasure of taking part in Kerry Hudson’s wonderful Womentoring project. I’ve volunteered my services as a mentor, which means I will provide feedback and assistance to your writing – so if you’re a woman and you’re interested in assistance from me, my Womentoring profile info is here.

Guidelines to apply (taken directly from their website)

How to apply

  • Email the womentoringproject@gmail.com with:

  1. 1000 word sample of your writing
  2. 500 word statement, specifying why you would benefit from free mentoring
  3. Your full contact details
  • Please cut and paste all of this information into the body of the email and ensure they are clearly titled as ‘writing sample’ ‘statement’ and ‘contact details’. The subject line of your email should contain the name of mentor you are applying for mentoring with i.e. ‘Sally Briggs’ if you were applying for a mentor called Sally Briggs.
  • It is really important to the project’s success that you only have one application active for one mentor at a time – the emails will be monitored in this regard.
  • Your email application, along with any others received, will be forwarded to the mentor for review
  • If you are successful your mentor will get in touch personally to discuss moving forward
  • If you are unsuccessful you’ll be notified by email – please note the response times will vary depending on the mentor but you will receive notification
  • If you are unsuccessful you’ll be eligible to apply for another mentor


  • As we have limited resources applications that don’t follow the guidelines above will automatically be disqualified. We have tried to keep them as simple as possible so please (please, please, please etc.) do follow them.

  • Choose the mentor you want to apply for carefully. Although all mentor profiles have biographies we strongly recommend also doing some research on your prospective mentor and reading/familiarising yourself with some of their writing before you apply to ensure the best ‘fit’.

  • The application system isn’t first come first served so do take time and care with your writing sample and statement. Give yourself the best chance by making your application as polished as possible.

  • Your 500 word statement is incredibly important and should explain exactly why you need free mentoring (i.e. why you are unable to access paid opportunities) and how having a mentor will benefit you. A good statement could be the difference between being successful or not!

Young Irelanders – announcing a forthcoming anthology of the best of new irish fiction.

Originally posted on DAVE LORDAN:

Following on from the success of 2013′s New Planet Cabaret project I’m teaming up with publishers New Island again, this time to edit an anthology of short stories by the best of the new wave of Irish fiction writers. The anthology, due in 2015, will be called Young Irelanders, and will feature stories set in present or near future Ireland. As an editor I am interested in promoting work which engages with the absolutely contemporary, with aspects of the present which have yet to be deeply reflected upon in our literature, and Young Irelanders will be a perfect vehicle for this.

The 16 story anthology will feature a selection of Ireland’s most gifted and daring contemporary short fiction writers including Mia Gallagher, Colin Barrett, Alan McMonagle, Sheila Armstrong, Kevin Curran, Cathy Sweeney, Roisin O Donnell, Oisin Fagan and Rob Doyle.

Young Irelanders will showcase the rich diversity of styles and thematic interests…

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Scenes From Hell

Every now and then you get the Scene From Hell.

You have two characters who need to say a bunch of stuff to each other. There are several reveals, but also things must be concealed Because Plot. It has to be done in one scene and the scene has to end in a particular way. On your marks – start the dialogue – Go.

You’re about 500 words into a he-said, she-said scenario and it just seems artificial. So you have to break up the dialogue. Somebody do something! Find an animal who will do something animal-y to distract attention! Have it start raining. And stop raining. And start again. Anything to break up the talking heads!

Congratulations. You have just found yourself in the middle of a Scene From Hell, where you have to serve up a smorgasbord of the prose equivalent of the screenplay term /beat or /noises off while you get the characters to reveal what they need to reveal in good order. You get to the stage where Raymond Chandler’s man with a gun is a plausible interruption. Especially if he SHOOTS EVERYBODY and solves the problem there and then.

And then even when the characters are talking, they get distracted. You end up going down a rabbithole and having to delete several lines up to keep them on track – yet make it not look like you’re keeping them on track. So, how to do it?

Well in my experience, half the battle of a Scene From Hell is knowing you’re in the middle of one. Once you are aware of that, for some reason it takes the pressure off. Knowing it’s going to be very artificial frees you up to use artifice, which is what you need in a scene like this, and in spades. Occasionally, the character will lose patience with you; I was driving to work one rainy morning pondering the Scene From Hell I was currently writing when suddenly one of my characters started waltzing the other one across the lawn. OK, said I, I’ll go with the flow.

And now I’m noticing something interesting. Those Scenes From Hell often read more naturally than the ones that flow. And they get fewer comments from the editor!

New Header

I’ve decided to alter my blog header, both because my mugshot was a bit large and Carly Simon might end up writing a song about it, but also because I thought it would be interesting to show some of the WWI propaganda posters that I saw in 2011 when I went to visit the Imperial War Museum to learn more about the setting for my novel. There is something quite relentless and inexorable about the messages being sent out.

As for Lord Kitchener’s opinion…well, I’ll leave you to be the judge of what I think.

Battle Scenes

Captain Blackadder’s reluctant company prepare to go over the top

Again, this blog contains adult (violent) depictions and may not be safe for work.

If you thought sex scenes were tricky. well battle scenes are an utter and total pain in the backside. (In Richard III’s case, literally; it appears on discovering his remains that of his many injuries at the battle of Bosworth, one of them was a spear in his rump, though it was the blow to the head with a large blunt object that actually killed him.)  The one biggest problem with battles is the following:

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Womentoring 2014 – An Opportunity

Writer Kerry Hudson has come up with a wonderful scheme to connect aspiring women writers to mentors in their field. She has set up a twitter account called @WomentoringP and if you are a female writer and interested in being assigned a mentor (it’s totally free!) do follow that account.  (Apologies to the gentlemen but I will keep my eye out for mixed equivalents in future.) The website is in train and more details will be available for interested candidates in the coming months.

I am one of the people who has volunteered her time as a mentor – check out my bio if you are interested, though there are many other great people there too. If that hasn’t put you off and you’re a woman and like the idea, do follow the twitter account for updates, if you can!

Five Things for the Editing Process

In the tradition of “five things”, I wanted to note five things that are coming in useful now that the novel is in edit stage proper.

1. Decent Hardware

This one I can’t overemphasise. Your editor will probably send you over a MS Word document with annotations in the margin which will appear as comments. You may need to reference another document while you have this one open. And personally I find it hard to work without music in the background so I like to put on Spotify and listen to my favourite pieces, as well as my browser being open when I need to google “1913 rubbish coats”. That’s a lot of memory intensive apps open and the last thing you need is your concentration broken when you’re in the middle of a rewrite. I recommend at the very least 4GB RAM on your machine, and preferably 8GB.

2. Walking

Sometimes sitting at your desk you will get stuck thinking of a way around a plot hole or re-configuring a scene or what-have-you. If you’ve been thinking for a while and getting nowhere, there’s nothing like a walk to come up with a brainwave. Your brain will chew over the problem and often come up with a solution. However if it’s turning into a 10-mile hike, you know it’s just procrastination and you need to get back to your desk.

3. Magic Code

This is a little utility I modified from existing Visual Basic code on the internet to write a macro to download all comments into an excel spreadsheet: this includes comments, the sentences they refer to, and the page number. I find this highly useful as then I can compile a status report in the excel file using all that information. Ask me nicely and I’ll send it on to you.

4. Paper and Pen

This is for scribbling things down as I work along that otherwise I will forget about. Also the notebook doubles up nicely as a mouse pad.  Novels tend to have a lot of dependencies i.e. when you introduce one thing, it has a domino effect on lots of other things way up the line. So if I delete a scene, I might need to write that down in big letters on the notepad so it will stay in my memory. Post-It notes fulfil a similar requirement.

5. Coffee

Or insert poison  of your choice :)

Have fun!

Terms of Endearment

You can blame Athena Andreadis – aka @AthenaHelivoy – for this unscheduled blog post. Oh what the hell, nearly all my blog posts are unscheduled! :) But for this one, I’d read a tweet of Athena’s where she had said, in response to another conversation: “English is pitifully sparse in endearments. Most tongues I know say “my soul/light/songbird/heart…”

And I have lots of feels on that topic, and now have the excuse to talk about it. The fact that I’ve been working on a novel that contains a strong romantic element has only encouraged me in this regard. Names, vocabulary and language being used to express feelings that are so strong they become well nigh inexpressible…ah yes!

First, where I’m coming from on this: there are two languages that go back to my childhood: English, my mother tongue, and Irish, which is taught to all children in the Republic of Ireland from a young age. These are two very different languages in their philosophy towards endearments. Athena correctly says that English has a paucity of endearments.  Irish, on the other hand, has loads and loads and loads: grá mo chroí, spéirbhean, a mhúirnín, a stór, etc. etc. Love poetry in Irish, though generally miserable as hell, is slightly more successful than English because its rhythms are incantatory and anapaestic. It’s a beautiful, resonant language in poetry.

So does that mean the Irish language is more romantic? Only if you find romance in utter obfuscation and lack of straightforwardness. Irish does not allow me to say I love you. It permits I have a love for you which, if I may sound British for a moment, sounds like Terribly Poor Stuff to me. I can then say I have a great love for you, or I have an overpowering love for you, if I’m particularly smitten with a Gaelic-speaking gentleman. But the bit where I assume agency for my feelings, that bare, unadorned nominative is never reached. Similarly, I cannot say I failed – the literal translation is “it failed on me”. Suddenly the Celtic Tiger crash becomes clear. We once spoke a Peter Pan language, and we haven’t quite shaken it off.

So, that’s Irish. What about English? It is true that we have the opposite problem there. The magnitude of what I must confess to my Anglo-Saxon beloved is considerably greater, hence more risk. Hence, if I may be so bold, the stiff upper lip stereotype! I saw Parade’s End on BBC a few years back and was touched by the scene between the unhappily married, repressed Tietjens and the suffragette Valentine Wannop. There is an understanding between them, but every time he means “love”, he says “respect” (with an appropriately wobbling lower lip Cumberbatch stylee) and then when he can’t quite repress his feelings, he blurts out “Dear – ” and leaves it there and God your heart goes out to him.

In fact I think in English the power is in the repression rather than the expression. In Jane Eyre, Rochester piles on the endearments – fairy, elf, strange unearthly thing, et al (Good job he doesn’t speak any Irish or we’d be here all night!) but aren’t we straight ladies all more likely to catch our breath when he looks meaningfully at Jane and says “Goodnight my – ” and STOPS THERE, yes? And then there’s the whole big deal about switching from last name to first. Names were a big romantic thing then.

I used to think that “love” was an irritatingly vague term and that a language like Greek defined it better. However I have been reliably informed that in spite of having agape, eros, philos and storge, the same romantic misunderstandings happen in Greece as anywhere else! Which makes me think that in spite of what I’ve just written, maybe these spaces between the spaces are universal everywhere, especially when it comes to love. And I do love when the same word means something else in different languages. Cara  means, I believe, “dear” in Italian and is used in affection; in Irish it means “friend” and is used as a salutation on letters from the Revenue Commissioners.

What about you – what terms of endearment do you like?